The Surprising Origin of Being Rebellious

I used to be in awe of and even intimidated by rebels.  They do everything “their way.”  They blaze their own trail, make their own rules.  They’re so quick-witted that they usually dominate conversations and win any argument.  I thought that they were really powerful and completely self-reliant, but I’ve come to see it differently.  

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The Power of Recurring Dreams

Dream work is very productiveI’m always amazed at the brain’s ability to craft dreams to accomplish its goals.  Your brain creates dreams to use the feelings you experienced in the previous day to recharge your sense of self, which is the generating force behind every moment in your life.  

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Anything for Approval

For the first 30 years of my life, getting other people’s approval was the most important thing in the world to me.  It was the main motivator in my life. I got great grades. . .mostly because that earned the approval of my parents and teachers.  

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How a Dream about Shooting Your Mom Can Be Good

A client called me yesterday, very disturbed about a dream in which he tried to shoot his mom.  As I always do with this type of dream, I got really excited for him.  The only thing that can be “killed” in a dream is Learned Distress, the feeling that “there is something wrong with me being just as I am.”  And, the intensity of a dream indicates the intensity of Learned Distress that is removed permanently.

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Is Competition a Good Thing?

12 years ago, my mentor and colleague Mimi Herrmann said to me, “You hate competition. But you’re very competitive.”  I quickly said something like, “Shhhhhhh!!!  No one knows, and I’d like to keep it that way!”  When you have my personality pattern, it doesn’t feel safe to be competitive.  

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