Traditional New Year’s Resolutions fall into the category of behavior that I call “control mechanisms.” Resolutions like going to the gym more often or losing 20 pounds are usually based on trying to control the feeling that “there’s something wrong with me being just as I am.” This feeling, called Learned Distress®, is what your brain uses to automatically generate the negative moments of your life.Continue Reading
“When you think everything is someone else’s fault, you will suffer a lot.” —Dalai Lama
I would extend this to one’s own self, too: When you think everything is your own fault, you will suffer a lot. So, the problem isn’t whom you blame, but that you blame someone, period.Continue Reading
I used to be in awe of and even intimidated by rebels. They do everything their own way. They blaze their own trail, make their own rules. They’re so quick-witted that they usually dominate conversations and win any argument. I thought that they were really powerful and completely self-reliant, but I’ve come to see it differently.Continue Reading
People always say you shouldn’t give away your power. But what does that really mean and why does it happen? Let’s look at one of the reasons people “give away their power,” three areas where it happens most often, and how accessing your inner knowing, or intuition, can bring about a very different result.Continue Reading
For the first 30 years of my life, getting other people’s approval was the primary motivator in my life.
I got great grades. . .mostly because that earned the approval of my parents and teachers.
I practiced the violin a LOT, got two college degrees in performance, and made that my first career.Continue Reading
Have you ever stood up for yourself, either because it seemed like the right thing to do or because someone encouraged you to do it? Did it work? Or, were you ignored? Or, did you even get push back?
I hear about those failures all the time from my Quanta Change® clients.Continue Reading
Growing up and through my 20s, I was the kind of person who liked to give. . .a lot. In fact, I often gave so much that my parents, teachers, and friends would really question me on it or even get mad at me.Continue Reading
17 years ago, a shocking paradox was revealed through my Quanta Change® Sensory Quotient®: I hate competition, and yet, I’m very competitive.
When you have my personality pattern, it doesn’t feel safe to compete. In my first career as a professional violinist, I would go to symphony orchestra auditions, which are very competitive, and make friends with everyone, encourage them to do well, but be secretly thinking to myself, “But not too well, because I want to win!” (You can find out your personality pattern by taking the free Sensory Quotient test.)
Since then, I’ve done a lot of work to unlearn my buried competitive tendencies, and I’ve thought a lot about this subject.Continue Reading
“Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.” ~ Plato
“Really, everyone?” 17 years ago, that would have been my response to Plato. Many people wear their battles on their sleeves, and I usually find compassion easily for anyone who is having a rough time.Continue Reading
You embrace some form saying, “I am this.”
By God, you are not this or that or the other.
You are “Unique One,” “Heart-ravishing.”
Is this how you feel about yourself…right when you wake up in the morning? Right before you go to bed at night?Continue Reading